The Journey to Becoming a Mom

In the beginning finding out I was pregnant was scary. As my pregnancy went on I was becoming more excited and a little nervous. It almost didn't feel real. I felt her moving and kicking and all the symptoms. Even after gathering everything we needed for her it still didn't feel like she was ever going to come. But thinking about it now, it went a whole lot faster then I thought. Everything from pregnancy to birth.

By the time I hit 40 weeks and my stomach had dropped I knew it was getting closer.I had worked until 40.2 weeks and was physically exhausted. Everything hurt. Things were swelling. Shoes were no longer fitting and my back was giving me grief. I was no longer feeling scared. As I got closer to my due date I tried everything people had suggested. All the different foods, exercises and other such things. The day I started my maternity leave I was 40.3 weeks. I had an induction date set for September 5th but was hoping she would come on her own. I figured there was one more thing I could do in hopes it would push natural labor. David and I went for a couples massage. I called it a "torture massage" because my whole body had turned into one whole knot in just 9 months. When the person found out how for along I was he suggested there were a few key places that supposedly start labor. We both hinted it was okay to massage those areas. I don't know if it was the massage or possibly the full moon or the fact the pressure in the air changed but an hour after my torture massage I had started feeling uncomfortable in my lower abdomen. I thought maybe it was gas at first but just to be sure I started timing it. Sure enough it was contractions. I took a shower and crawled into bed. By midnight they had progressively gotten worse. David suggested we go to the hospital after I started swearing and grunting.
By 3am I was finally put into a room and I felt a popping sensation. I told the nurse and we checked to see if it was my water but nothing came out. Around 9am they had decided they needed an internal monitor put on the baby's head to see my contractions and her heartbeat better. I guess I had too much fluff blocking the outside monitors...

I did have an epidural placed only because I had gnarly back contractions and I wasn't relaxing enough to dilate. Even though it was placed, only one side was truly numb. I could lift my right leg myself and feel my contractions. Half way through pushing my left leg had woke up and I could really feel everything! It wasn't bad and honestly it helped me push. With every contraction I was ready to push. Near the end I was lifting my own legs and ready to keep going. At one point they had realized she had a BM in the womb. I had spiked a fever and NICU was called to be ready.
Our baby girl was born at 12:07 on August 31st. I didn't get her right away. NICU was checking her out and I was watching and hoping everything was okay. I didn't hear her cry.

Since bringing Cailin home David and I have finally experience true exhaustion. The first two nights were truly tiring. She cried and cried. We bounced and rocked and did everything we could. My milk took forever to come in and I had to supplement with formula while waiting.
Although the first couple nights were testing. We are so incredibly happy to be parents. There is something different about having your own child. Even though she can be fussy and cry I have more patience and love for her.

David has been outstanding and loving. I was shocked he witnessed her entire birth. After watching how they placed an epidural online once, I didn't think he could handle the birth. Some people can't handle blood. But once they said she had a lot of hair he couldn't help but watch. He is in love and she has him wrapped around his finger like most baby girls. He has been so good about letting me rest and taking over with certain things. He was a little hesitant about cloth diapering but is better at putting them on then I am.

Our little surprise has become the biggest blessing in our lives. We love her more then these words could ever show. She is truly the most beautiful baby in the world. She has Davids hands and feet, my eyes and his beautiful brown skin. She has a lot of hair and I don't see her going through a bald patch at all. She kind of has a Mini mullet. She was born with a lot more hair then on her head. We call her our little monkey because of her facial expressions and well...she had hair on her back, legs and shoulders. Luckily its all starting to fall out.