Feeling Whole Again

Everyday is just another day to heal, be stronger and teach myself to let go and breath. I lost a piece of me this year and I am trying to put it back together. I almost stopped recognizing who I was their for a while. In a sense it made me find my focus. Finally figuring out what this grown up wants to be when she really grows up.

Feels like it may take me forever and ever but at least I finally have a goal.  

So back to school all while being a wife and mom. Keeps me busy but also keeps me focused. 

The littlest things in life have meant the most to me these past few months. Had an enjoyable summer and just did fun and off the wall things I would have never done. Found myself in a sense and have loved every moment. This summer was dubbed "summer of Chantel" 

A summer of fun relaxing times. 

Now the fall is here. My favorite time of year. To get cozy and cuddle and drink warm beverages. I love when the weather turns. I'm a Utahn through and through. I love sweaters, the changing of the leaves and that first major snow fall. Not to mention football season has finally arrived!!

I'm going to enjoy the holidays more and take in every second. I have learned to put my phone down and take less pictures and engage myself into conversation with friends and family more. I also have managed to start writing. Maybe things I wouldn't share with the world at the moment because there is far too much going on in my head. It's a bit of a rollercoaster in their. 

Life is funny and I'm just trying to make every moment count. I managed to have lost my faith along the way but slowly learning how to live in this world with out it. My heart and  soul are going to be okay and I can live with this mind set for now. 

I'm just learning to be me. If I can't be honest with myself about how life works and keep learning from my mistakes or even my own accomplishments then I don't see me ever having a drive to be better in every aspect. 

All I know  is next summer will be the most epic summer. I just want to continue to be happy. That's all I have ever wanted in this life. Complete happiness where I wake everyday and have something to be thankful for. 

Healing for me is being strong and focusing on what's in front of me. The past is behind me. Parts live inside me, but it doesn't make me, me.